As I wander around my house this evening, I am acutely aware of a setting in front of me that I am unfamiliar with. There are boxes of things, some still in bags, some with tags still on them, that I have no memory of buying or bringing home. I do this often, go to look for something and find other things I couldn't remember buying. I feel like a stranger in my own body and my own home, I hate this odd feeling that has been my existence for a while now. I get glimpses of my life and myself but not enough to know that it is really real for me. I am feeling very emotional tonight and crying for no apparent reason, I just feel lonely, lost, I feel no sense of purpose for anything at all. I feel abandoned for some reason, though I am not sure how I know what abandoned feels like, I just think this must be the feeling. I am so sad tonight, and alone. I wish that I could find life again.
Chelle,
ReplyDeleteAs I await your session today I am reminded of your courage. It was very interesting to hear the experiences and insights you had after the previous NFB session. I am looking forward to connecting with you this week as well. Please let me know how you are doing!
Jack