Published speech given at the VA Hospital for my dad

I thought I would share more of my experience in my fathers death and how I felt about it after he had gone. The VA Hospital does something extraordinary twice a year for all of the Veterans that have passed away in their hospital. They ask the families of those who have passed participate in a memorial to honor them. They asked us to bring photos and to give a speech if we felt comfortable. I took the time to personally share my experience with them to let them know how much it meant to us to be treated with such honor and respect. In reading this again it is hard to imagine that this was really me speaking in front of all of those people, I know it was me but then again I don't. At the end of my speech several people came up to me including a reporter, and they asked for copies and if they could publish me in the VA Newsletter. It was quite a day and even more so that people wanted to share my letter. It made me feel good just like writing always does, I just haven't shared much of myself with the world in this way so I am learning as I go. :) 

Va memorial speech

I would like to think that there are other angels here with us today in the spirit of our loved ones, & i find comfort knowing that i am not alone as we all share in our grief. When i was told i would be able to say a few words about my dad, i decided to use this opportunity to instead give recognition to the doctors, nurses and amazing staff at the va as i felt you could better relate to that than hear me speak of a man you never knew.

In those moments we have all sadly experienced when our loves ones passed there are things we felt but didn’t get to say to those who were taking care of them. I cannot recall a time when the staff up in icu wasn’t in my fathers room or right outside his door providing him comfort and company all hours of the day. Every day of the 3 weeks he was here was filled with love, hope, care, friendship, and dedication as the doctors worked around the clock to find a solution to extend his life. The amount of heart that went into his care showed a level of humanity i had not expected to see & though each day that passed was taking its toll on my fathers body, his spirits and happiness grew.

On the days i couldn’t be here, i always knew that my dad was not alone or scared because i could count on the nurses to keep him company. He never felt once felt hopeless and was honored and respected in ways he had never known in his short life. Each one the staff made sure to keep me informed of my dads daily progress, changes & prognosis and were in touch by phone with me daily. When the doctors and nurses treat your loved one as they would their own family you know that god has blessed you beyond belief as it provides a level of peace even in the darkest of days.

I can only hope that each of you share in my beautiful interactions with the va as your loved one stayed here, and hope that you too see that even in our time of loss we were being given gifts to hang onto and hold forever in our hearts. For the 3 days my father was on life support there was a nurse in his room 24 hours a day,  he was never left alone and on the morning of his passing i remember how touched i was when dr schwartz cried as we had to make the decision to say goodbye. He told me how sorry he was that it had come to this, that he couldn’t make my dad better and that he had done all he possibly could to do so. I believed him in that moment and i believe him still,

So today while we honor all of our loved ones i want to take this moment to honor the staff here at the va as well. To say thank you for your services to our families. Thank you for watching over my father, for giving him hope, friendship, comfort, care, respect and love. For being there for him when i could not be, for easing his pain and fears and for helping him find peace in those last few precious days of his life. Thank you for choosing to do what you do because without you i cannot imagine what our experience would have been like. Your compassion for what you do and the level of humanity you poses is commendable and highly respected, and each of you have found a place in my heart that will hold you there forever.

You have proven that even in the depths of suffering and impending death, an honored & respected soul can find new life in his departure as hope & love were with him until the end. Thank you