9/23/2016

I am unraveling and coming apart, I am so afraid that I won't be able to stop it once it lets loose. I am terrified that I am not coping well, that I CAN'T cope better than what I am doing right now. My son hates me, curses at me, fights with me until I have an episode. Then its "I love you" and like nothing happened. It is too much for my fragile heart to take, it reminds me so much of Jake it scares me. I get treated like shit with no explanation, I get talked down  too, I get disrespected and ignored when asking to do something around the house. He said today he really needs help, he doesn't understand what is wrong with him. I don't either but i know I won;t make is like this much further I am full of anxiety to the point my chest has been hurting the last two days. and in my head I am wishing it would just happen so I could leave this feeling. I want to give up right now, I cant fix me and fend off my angry child.