Paint me a picture

February 15, 2016

The word "NORMAL" is defined as conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. It is also defined as being the average or typical state or condition of something Jack asked me last week to spend some time before our next session, describing for him my idea of what "normal" would be for Jappy if I was her mother. For days I have been brainstorming ideas as to what kind of life I would want for Jappy, what kind of picture could I paint for Jack to describe this "normal" sense of life for her, but I couldn't quite put it into words what normal was and then I had a heartfelt and very emotional conversation with my son tonight and it moved me to sit down and finally paint a picture of what I would want as a mother for Jappy because it  would be the same as I want for my son. . 

The most important aspect of Jappy's environment would be that it is one that always feels safe and welcoming for her. Every child deserves to know an upbringing that is rich with value, morals, unconditional love, trust, hope, laughter, and family for these are crucial stepping stones in the foundation of life in my opinion. To have a family dynamic where there is no tension, anger or bitter words towards one another. A consistent routine of quality family time and parents who genuinely take into consideration a child's interests and hear their voice.  A home where a child would not be afraid to come to their parents for any reason, that they would know it was acceptable to speak freely about anything without fear of being judged or having repercussions. 

My son and I have grown a close, trusting relationship, it is not often you hear a teen call their parent their best friend but mine does. I asked him what he enjoys most about our relationship and his answer is always the same; he loves that he can be himself and that I encourage him to love who he is. That I tell and show him he that he he should embrace who he is as a person and that we can talk about anything at all without it feeling weird. He also says that he loves how funny we are together, we get pretty silly doing voices for each other and just trying to have fun in our day. 

I guess all of this applies if it were for Jappy too. Growing up I did not realize there was anything wrong or abnormal about my life because it was my "normal" and this assignment is proving to be harder than I imagined it would be because how do you know what you want if you never had it? There are only a handful of things I would add to my childhood that would've made it a better experience for me.  I always wanted to have a family that sat down to eat dinner together every night, where the parents would ask the kid how their day was and they would have conversations over dinner. We had a family dinner once a year.....on Thanksgiving my daddy's favorite holiday. I would have liked that to happen more in my childhood. That and I would have liked my family to show emotion to one another because I believe it created some issues for me as I got older because I got very good at holding everything inside. 

I don't think that I did a good job describing what Jack wanted on this one, maybe this just wasn't a good time for me to be writing because I feel very off track right now. But, it is the best I could do at the moment so I will allow that to be sufficient for me for now. Today I don't feel like that great of an "artist" in paining you a picture so I hope you get the idea.