Educating myself

Sunday January 31, 2016

JS advised that I do some of my own research before beginning my sessions so that I have a clear idea of what exactly I am subjecting myself too. There are tons of websites that offer information about what Neurofeedback is, I found wikipedia to have the most condensed descriptions that offered a range of disorders affected by neurofeedback and felt that I understood the concept the easiest after browsing their info. Here are some key points to neurofeedback should you express an interest in knowing more as well as a link to their website.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurofeedback

Neurofeedback (NFB), also called neurotherapy or neurobiofeedback, is a type of biofeedback that uses real-time displays of brain activity—most commonly electroencephalography (EEG), to teach self-regulation of brain function. Typically, sensors are placed on the scalp to measure activity, with measurements displayed using video displays or sound. It is a type of biofeedback that measures brain waves to produce a signal that can be used as feedback to teach self-regulation of brain function.Neurofeedback is commonly provided using video or sound, with positive feedback for desired brain activity and negative feedback for brain activity that is undesirable. Related technologies include hemoencephalography biofeedback (HEG) and functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) biofeedback. 

What peaks my inerest the most is the broad range of disorders as well as non medical uses that Neurofeedback has an affect on. The fact that it is virtually symptom free from side effects and produces results without medicating you are the biggest reasons that this therapy excites me. You would be amazed at how many doctors or therapists believe that medicating a patient is the answer to the successfully treating mental wellness or any other disorder or sickness for that matter. I have personally been told that because I choose to go without accepting prescription pills, that I must not want to get better or feel well. This couldn't be further from the truth for me, I simply want to feel the pain of progress because that is how I will know if things are working or if I need to change what I am doing if I don't like what I feel. 

Medication is like a band-aid over the wound, it covers it up as long as you have the band-aid on but underneath it the wound is still deep and sometimes infected though you cannot see this on the outside. If you left the wound with nothing more than just a band-aid over it and it was the worst wound you had ever experienced, do you think that it would be enough to fully heal itself the right way. leaving no scar and no residual pain? This is how I feel about taking medications for your wellness, it masks the symptoms of your disorder but still lies dormant within you and the moment you stop the pills, it is like a damn has been lifted because all of the untreated issues will surface once again and you will be forced to deal with them. Personally, life and those in it make our lives much harder than necessary already, why subject yourself to even more challenges than need be? Lesson for today....Work Smarter not Harder!!

The birth of "Jappy"

Circa 1980 - Age 3

Hopeful

January 29, 2016

I begin this blog for the sole purpose of documenting and sharing my journey to spiritual & emotional wellness. I have been ready for some time now to be well again, and though I know the road in front of me is long, painful and difficult I am still excited and hopeful. The cost of failing to try for my well being is far more expensive than the cost to take this head on so I choose to move forward with my treatment plan. I will not be using actual names of those involved as I have not asked for permission to do so and in the off chance that someone other than the therapist reads this, I'd rather be safe than sorry. 

I had the pleasure of meeting with Dr.JS, his beautiful German Shepherd Freja, and his compassionate & welcoming staff today. My initial thoughts were of anxiety &  fear, but i pushed past those feelings and left with a very different idea of where my journey would be taking me. Listening to Jack share his personal triumphs as a person made me feel at ease as a client because he relates to the struggles and has done the hard work in his own journey. What a gift this is for me, when you have  a therapist who has personal investments into the treatment they provide that speaks for itself and lays the ground work for trust and an idea of what it can be like to be well again and functioning in society.

His approach is that of a genuine and dedicated therapist who has taken his experiences, failures and success and placed them into a practice that give others like me a chance at finding themselves after suffering trauma and abuse. I liked the fact that JS gave me his word that he would be my guide through this and that he wouldn't let me get too deep into the healing process before I was ready. This is a very important aspect of any kind of therapy, even when you feel like you could jump in with both feet and take it all on it can be unhealthy to do so and even cause more trauma to your already fragile state of mind. I need that reassurance because that means I am able to focus on one moment at a time without concentrating on if I am doing too much or not enough, it takes away from being present to the now.

My choice is to expose myself to not only Psychotherapy and EMDR but to Neurofeedback  therapy as well. This is only a few of the techniques they specialize in and were carefully chosen by JS as they offer my situation the best chance of a positive outcome with lasting effects. I have taken the first step on this journey with my consultation and acceptance of the treatment plan and my next step will be on Monday, just 4 short day from now when I have my first brain scan for Neurofeedback therapy. To say that I am excited is an understatement and it has been a long time since i have felt that emotion about anything in my life.  Someday when this journey comes to a close I hope to be able to be the result of what a good therapist can do for you when the right tools are given and used when working with sufferers of trauma and abuse.  It takes someone willing to invest in you as much as they would for themselves and I am feeling grateful and certain that I have finally found that someone in JS. :)